| "Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare" | |||
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| It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode | |||
| Episode no. | Season 2 Episode 3 |
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| Directed by | Dan Attias | ||
| Written by | Rob McElhenney | ||
| Production code | 1P02004R | ||
| Original air date | July 6, 2006 | ||
| Episode chronology | |||
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| It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (season 2) List of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episodes |
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"Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare" is the tenth episode of the American situation comedy series It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia aired on July 6, 2006 on the FX Network in the United States. The episode was directed by Dan Attias and written by Rob McElhenney.
At 4:30 pm on a Wednesday, Frank is ordering Dennis and Dee to do some work in the bar while Mac and Charlie are just playing video games. Dennis tells his Dad that he not really listening to him and his sister. Frank asks if they are really leaving, Dennis says that they are as they have dreams to explore and fulfill. Mac says that the two are nothing without this bar, and Dennis responds by telling him not to worry about them.
At the apartment, Dennis is asking Dee what her dreams and aspirations are. He believes that this is the perfect opportunity to start anew. Dee says she wants to get her acting career into gear and her brother offers his support saying that he is no longer the old Dennis who would have belittled her dreams. Dee reveals she is signing them up for unemployment online. Dennis says that’s for deadbeats, but changes his mind when the two learn that they are entitled to receive unemployment benefits, which is $400 a week: more money than they were making at the bar. With this time off, the two can slowly explore their dreams.
Charlie and Mac struggle to lift up the pool table and they begin to argue over how to do it properly. They are both stressed that Frank is ordering them around and giving them an extra workload. Frank says they need a father figure and they should accept the new situation and trust them. The two agree that they don’t want a father figure.
Mac find Dennis and Dee sitting on the front steps of the apartment getting drunk and singing along with the music. An appalled Mac questions them on why the two aren't sticking with their original plan of achieving their new career goals. Dennis and Dee reveal they are just receiving unemployment assistance to help them with the process as they slowly fulfill their dreams of becoming a veterinarian and Broadway actress. Mac asks them to come back to the bar, but they decline. A furious Mac complains that he been working his butt off since they left and now they're living the life. Dennis and Dee begin to taunt him. They reveal the next phase in their plan, which is to go on welfare. Mac tells him that this plan will not work, but Dennis just turns up the music to drown him out Mac who goes berserk and starts screaming. He leaves as the two continue to sing along to the song.
At the bar, Frank sets up an account in Charlie’s name to hide money from his wife. He says that Charlie will be rewarded if he doesn’t steal any of the money. Mac walks in with results from research that he has been doing on the welfare program. He found out that there is a program called "work for welfare," which they can exploit to get employees to work at the bar and the three don’t have to pay them anything.
Charlie and Mac arrive at the welfare office where they get into a disagreement about labeling the workers that they are looking for as "slaves." The two have a difficult time picking out an ideal candidate to hire. They go up to the counter to talk to a caseworker to discuss their interest in signing up for the "work for welfare program." Then they ask if there is a way to choose ideal candidates like a face book, which can help speed up the process. She says no and gives them a big binder filled with rules and regulations. As the two are leaving, they run into Dee and Dennis who straight out say that he isn’t surprised that Mac decided to steal their idea. An annoyed Mac denies this and says that the two are not entitled to welfare. Dennis says they have things covered as Dee pulls out a pink bicycle helmet and puts it on.
The two siblings walk up to the window and Dennis tells the caseworker that he is a recovering crack addict, Dee is mentally retarded, and that they would like welfare. The skeptical caseworker says that the two need to provide medical documents and a blood test to confer the validity of their situations. Not ready to give up on their dreams, the two drive to another part of the city to purchase two rocks of crack for $200. To become entitled for welfare, Dennis and Dee plan to smoke a little crack and then go to the doctor for a blood test.
At the bar, Frank assigns jobs to Paddy’s two new employees, Maria and Tony. Seeing this as perfect time to relax, Mac and Charlie get ready to play video games. Frank wants to play too, and then he wants to play football with them. Uncomfortable with the whole idea of having to hang out with Frank, Charlie concocts a plan to access money out of the new back account so that he and Mac can go out and party. The two agree to take a limited amount of money to stay below Frank’s radar. Instead, they end up purchasing fancy suits and top hats and hanging out with bunch of high priced prostitutes throwing money around.
Dennis and Dee wake up feeling the effects of the crack that they had taken and realize that they have missed their appointment for their blood test by one day. The newly addicted siblings set up another appointment to buy more crack, and then end up sitting outside a building high and burnt out. Dee is panicking over the need for new headshots for her acting career and Dennis is struggling to stay awake.
Mac and Charlie who are having a grand old time riding around in a limousine with the hookers drive up to the corner where Dee and Dennis are. They roll down the window to see how their friends are doing. Dennis asks Mac and Charlie if they have some money to give. Mac and Charlie decline. As the they drive off, Charlie and Mac laugh off the dire situation that their friends are in.
Frank scolds an injured Tony at the bar about the proper way of playing football. He offers Maria and Tony beer, but the two reveal that they don’t drink. This brings Frank down, and he asks them how the two end up on welfare when they are hard workers. Maria begins to go into the problems of the system when Frank receives a call from the bank telling him that his account has been accessed.
At an ATM, Mac and Charlie are struggling to access Frank’s locked out account so that they can pay the hookers, but to no success. Annoyed that they aren’t getting paid, the hookers threaten to call their pimps. Mac tells not to do this and reveals how they handle situations like these, which is to run away.
Dee and Dennis who are in worse shape than ever are heading to the bar with a plan to go back to work so that they can get enough money to buy more crack, and then they will go on welfare to fulfill their dreams. Then the two realize that they should seek out rehab as soon as possible. Mac and Charlie gleefully arrive and then begin shouting at their friends for wanting their jobs backs now. Frank comes out to ask why they are fighting. He says that major changes have to be made at the bar as he fired Tony and Maria for being such downers.
He assigns all of Charlie’s work to his kids and then promotes Charlie to management for showing initiative and having the courage to steal his money. Mac admits doing the same thing and asks what he gets in return. Frank tells Mac that he gets nothing because he is a follower and a thief. Dennis and Dee question why their father is doing this to them, and Frank responds by saying the reason is that they’re crack heads.
This episode features "Just A Friend" by Biz Markie in the scene with Dennis and Dee drinking on the steps.[1]